god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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