I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
