11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
