I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
