so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Randomize
