I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
