So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
