Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
