If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My liver just had a heart attack.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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