Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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