I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
