Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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