break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
