i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
