nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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