none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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