Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
