i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
