i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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