So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
