Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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