Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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