After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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