So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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