I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
