Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
