I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
