Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
