Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
