"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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