You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
