brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
