More tranny stories later!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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