I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
