I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
