I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
