How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Watching her eat just hurts me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
