The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize