So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
