and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
