I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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