North Korea, Best Korea!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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