Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
