Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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