i need an iv and a liver transplant
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
