so explain again why im purple
no
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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