How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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