Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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