rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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