i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
