he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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