After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
